About Working Like an Ant

I feel like I've been working like an ant. I don't have the nerve to stand up for myself. I hate what I do. I guess I haven't really accepted the fact that I am disposable.

I feel like shit. Last night, I had a dream that I was in prison for murder, and I was about to get executed. I was really unconscious at the time, and I really thought that I was gonna die. I remember that I regretted killing someone not for the guilt but because I was about to get executed while I still wanted to live.

I didn't know that I was so worthless. I'm doing shit that I don't like just to make money.

I wonder if it's better to go back to the factory job. That way, I would feel like I have a better excuse to stop trying. I guess I have to give up certain things in order to gain something else.

I want to stop trying.