Lost

One more week till I find an engineering job. And it's unlikely that I'll find one. But I'll try for one more week. And that's it. No more wasting time trying to get something that I can't get.

I have to realize that I'm not good enough. It's somewhat comforting to know that I can finally stop trying. For as long as I can remember, I've always thought that I don't deserve anything good. I think the thought became tangible for the first time when I met M. I don't blame her, but sometimes I wish that I'd never met her.

It makes me feel like shit. I can't get what I want.

It's just that I don't want to become a slave for the system.