Down

Played soccer today.
I played terrible compared to the last couple of days.
Got injured a bit.
But I was kinda feeling sorry for myself for doing badly.
I think I take things a bit too seriously when I do something badly.
It affects the way I play.
And naturally, I make more mistakes because my mind is not in the game anymore.
And this usually continues for couple of days.

I have to train myself to just stick to the simple plays when things aren't going well.

Seasonal Allergy

I fucking hate plants that cause me to sneeze and have teary eyes all the time.
I hate them very very much.
I want to burn down all trees in this crappy tribe with a flame thrower.

Get Back

So bad grades and shit does limit your choices somewhat when it comes to getting a job.
At least that is the impression that I'm having now.

A cop came knocking on my door today around 1pm.
Some mofo busted the drivers side window on my van and stole some loose change.
All the glass shops were closed at noon today.
Monday's the Memorial day.
I was gonna drive to Chicago on Monday, but I don't know now.
I duct-taped some plastic sheet where the window broke.

This thing kind of reminded me that sometimes bad things happen at wrong times.
Also I sort of noticed that rich people who live in better neighborhood or have insurance will be better off than the poor people who live in a crappy neighborhood and don't have insurance.
So the rich people save money while the poor people stay poor.
I shouldn't over-generalize some stuffs and come to a wrong conclusion that the poor people get screwed all the time by the rich people, but I think it's true in some cases.

Time as a limited resource

My back is hurting again from soccer.
No soccer till Sunday.

It's been a while since I had any progress on the job situaion.
I was gonna go find a temp job in Chicago.
But it might be wiser to be patient and look for job a bit more.
Till couple of years ago, I used to think I had all the time in the world to do whatever I felt like doing.
It's starting to sink in that there's gonna be less and less time available for me to do things.

I'm gonna drive back to Chicago on Monday morning.
Find a job near the glider field and get my license this year.
That's what I wanna do now.

Soccer is like Free Jazz

Played soccer again.
Played good, but lost the game.
I started out good, but I couldn't run up and down the field too much.
I only lasted like 20 minutes playing like that.

I think playing soccer is like free jazz.
It's good to have certain things preorganized.
And there are the improvisations by the players.
The field is chaotic.

I wonder what free jazz represents.
Is it in the same sort of thing as the Jackson Pollack paintngs?
I saw a painting of his at the Chicago Institute of Art.
But I didn't really understand it.
I've listened to Ornette Coleman's "Shape of Jazz to Come."
But I didn't really understand it.

I liked them both though.

Jerzy Dudek is the greatest goalkeeper in the world!!!!!

I've never witnessed this sort of freakiness.
I could not believe my eyes when I saw this.
And a moment later, I busted out laughing.
During the penalty kick of the Champions League final!!!!

No way in hell I would've ever thought of doing such a thing in that situation.
He's a genius.
Maybe he was thinking back to the time when he was a child.
When people used to do things like that.
When playing soccer was just for fun.

I was kinda feeling down the last couple of days, but I feel a lot better after I saw this craziness.
I'm still not so sure if that really happened.
I still can't stop laughing.
It reminded me of when everything was just fun and games.
Especially when things are fucked up, it's just makes it 200,000 times funnier.

Jerzy Dudek is a genius.
What he did today made me feel like I can go on.
And everything is out-fucking-standing.

illusions

Played soccer again.
Didn't do so well, but the team I was with won.
Back is hurting again.
I have to stop playing couple days in a row.

Pollen allergy is getting worse.
I hate wind pollinating plants.

No jobs.
I didn't even look today.

Champions league tomorrow.
I don't really care who wins, but I'd rather have Liverpool win.
I think this concentration of money in big clubs is promoting more tactical discipline among the less wealthy teams.
Mo' money, mo' problems.

remember where you're from

I realized that I have somethings that I want to do before I get a job.
I guess it's something I have to choose.

More risk is needed for more fun.

Remember.
Like attracts like.
I won't find anything unless I choose.

No hits today

No emails today.
Bummer.
What if I kept sending emails and applying for jobs for the rest of my life and nobody ever replied.

Anyways, I read couple chapters of the FAA private pilot written test preparation book.
I want to get through the whole thing by Friday.

Played soccer with some people from Malaysia.
It made me wonder how many different nationalities I've played soccer with.

1. Mexico
2. Poland
3. Uganda
4. Guatemala
5. Ghana
6. Cameroon
7. China
8. Korea
9. Japan
10. Brazil
11. Argentina
12. Venezuela
13. Spain
14. England
15. Germany
16. Iraq
17. Turkey
18. Serbia-Montenegro
19. Haiti
20. Austria
21. Switzerland
22. India
23. The land of the half-fishman

I've been wondering...
That there's gonna be a day when I look back and say...
"Why da fuck did I want a fucking job so badly..."
It just says that I'll end up missing things that I don't have at the moment.
It's kinda hard to find what's really important.

Forward

I played soccer today.
Played very good.
Through playing different kinds of sports, I've noticed that I'm not a very instinctive person.
Not a forward.
But I guess there are different types.

Went to some state park about half an hour to the west of campus.
I've been trying to find some place that's good for reading, but haven't found one.
I guess the Y-eatery place is the best place that I've found so far.

Not much on the job stuff.
It's Sunday, so no surprises.

Found this very very intersting site.
http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

I tried to find what is my deepest secret.
I found out that it's very hard to find that on my own.
Because it's something that I try to hide from myself.

How long, not long

I'm kinda feeling cozy just doing what I feel like doing.
Shit, it ain't gonna last forever.

Some people say find any job immediately.
Some people tell me to enjoy it while it lasts.

It's been only 10 days since I graduated.

Remember...
Like attracts like.
I need to find what I want to do.
If I end up doing shit that I don't want to do, I won't find anything meaningful.
It's gonna be just lies.

Fuck.
What's the point of faking your whole fucking life.

Nothing to report

Not much happened the last two days.
I need to decide what I'm going to do this summer.

I don't have any contacts yet.
But I think I'll get an odd job near the glider field and spend the summer doing that.
Might as well just concentrate on getting my private license this summer.

Mmmm...
Fuck.

Reggie Miller

What can I say...
Reggie Miller.

Reminds me that I have to keep working.
Even if I don't get there, that's what I have to do.

Laziness and the guilt of being unemployed

I've been pretty fucking lazy for the past couple of months, but it has brought this new sense of guilt now that I'm out of school and unemployed.
I feel like I should be doing something.

Followed up on the jobs posting by a major aircraft company.
All "no longer under consideration."
Applied for some more.

I feel like a sellout for trying to get my citizenship just so I can get a job.
I really hope that I get the wind turbine job.

What was the point of going to school...

Sent couple more emails to companies.
UAV companies.

I went to some state park that's about half an hour east of campus.
There weren't too many things to see.
Walked around for about 3hours...

Played soccer with the Mexican dudes.
It was OK, but not that good.
I should shoot more.
I always pass.

Slight progress

I got an email from a wind turbine company today.
Just a confirmation that they received my resume.
It'll be cool if I could get this job, but I just found out that it's a pretty huge company.
Oh well, it sounds pretty interesting though.

I kinda wish I could just stay near the glider club and get my private license this year...
I'll wait two weeks.
That means I have to work hard now cuz I won't get the results for at least two weeks after I apply.

I found this website net-temps.com.
It had tons of jobs, not overtaken by big company postings like hotjobs or careerbuilder.
It has some full time jobs too.

went returned the hang glider

Went returned to hang glider to the glider field.
Stayed there and helped out the operations a bit.
I got a ride w/ another member and we stayed up for 1hr and 57min which was the longest I've stayed up.
But my head was spinning a bit by the time I came down...

Everyone asked me about future work.
I'm the one who wants to know what the heck I'll be doing for living.

Anyways, people gave me all kinds of good advices.
I guess it's best to ask someone who has a job about getting a job.

Something bad happened at home this morning.
I can't stay there.

I came back to the apartment at 1:30 am.

My plan now is to look for the ideal jobs for 2weeks.
If I don't have anything by then, look for a more crappier job.

I should also try to get my citizenship soon.
That's a big thing for an aerospace job.

Job seeking blog

This is a blog that tracks the miserable life of a job seeker.
Watch as my expectations and standards of future job go down the shitters to the lowest part of the universe.

I just got out of school with a bachelors in aerospace.
I have some money left over, but not that much, probably will last me about 5 months.
I came home last night around 3 in the morning.
I try not to stick around here too long.
I still have 2 more months left for my apartment at school.

Looked around on the internet for any jobs related to wind turbines.
I wrote the bestest fucking cover letter that I've ever fucking wrote. ever.