Reset

I feel like this is the right thing to do, but I don't know why I came to that conclusion. Maybe I just don't remember.

I think a lot of this self-hatred is based on my selfish expectations that I put on others and myself. I refused to trust anyone, and that lead to shutting off a lot of basic communication with people around me. When I do decide to make any exception, and selfishly decide to impose expectations onto someone or myself, I often find the outcome to be different than what I thought it would be. This usually leads to even lesser communication with others or lesser self-confidence. The worst thing is that I tend to stop communication with certain people from the fear of developing expectations.

I'm feeling the same way that I felt five years ago when I met M. It took me about five years for me to forget what happened. What a waste of time.