Marine Biologist

I read an article on the most rewarding occupations today. They were like priests, firefighters, and psychiatrists. I think I would've made a descent marine biologist. I think it'll be more rewarding than being an engineer. But who knows. I don't really know what they do.

Went practiced with the people I met Saturday. For some reason they don't play at the nice flat synthetic field, and they play in a forest preserve where the ground is bumpy as hell with puddles. I played OK. I kinda felt bad cuz I think I have a bit more experience than most of the people there. I can still work on making better decisions faster while I play with them. But maybe it's not so fun for the other people. I was going to make a good first impression for the team, and I consciously tried to let go of the ball as fast as possible and run a lot on defense. But I felt a bit out of place. I'm thinking of going to another field across the highway next week for practice. I think it's good to practice with a team that's somewhat organized like these guys, but I don't want to get in their way of practice too much. So I'm definitely gonna stick with my old team this summer.

Well, I've been rambling about quitting my job since I started working here about 10 months ago. There has been a bit of a turn-around recently. The company that I work for now is slowly starting to feed me with more engineering related works. I was just about to tell my boss (CEO) that I'm gonna quit unless I get to do some engineering related work. Also, I found out that he spent $800 for each chair that we sit in so we won't have back aches etc. I really appreciate that. So for now, I'm back to undecided on finding another job.

Mistakes

I made a huge blunder at work. It was fixed in a clever way within a couple of hours, but I was a bit down for the rest of the day. But I kind of thought about it again today, and I came to this conclusion that it's better than copying over what's being done before. It beats doing CAD stuff or researching connectors. So I'm happy that I took the opportunity to make this kind of mistake. I feel a bit awkward about making my employer spend the money/time for me to make mistakes, but I probably will quit if I'm just copying what other people's been doing here.

Played soccer today. Finally found some people playing at the field by the high school. Nice people. I guess it's finally warm enough for people to start playing. They are more organized than my team, but it's a bit monotonic type of play. Typical 'American' type of game. I kind of wish that they play a bit less organized and more creative, but at the same time, I wish my team is a bit more organized also. I realized that I stand out when I play in an 'American' type team because I don't like to play too organized. I like to have fun and do something special for myself. I guess some people will call me selfish and some people will call me creative. I don't really care about what other people say as long as I'm having fun. I was offered to play for their team after the game, but I think I'm a bit too attached to the guys I've been playing with to switch. It's kinda nice to play with a group of people who have more experience, but I think we are just about getting there.

I think I'll practice with them during the week. It'll be nice to get to know some people in the area. I actually kicked the ball around at the field in Forest Park on Friday. They told me to come to their game on Mondays. I'm kinda tempted to just quit glider and play soccer all summer. I'm grateful that I've learned a bit about this game and the opportunity it gives me to meet new people. But I think glider is too special for me to give up.

Twat

I started looking for a job in the wind energy industry again.

People say that I should be happy with what I got. They say that I should stop dreaming. That I should stop complaining. That I should give up.

I'd rather be bucking rivets or sanding fiberglass. I'm just a sellout. I fucking hate myself for doing what I do.