You Lied to Me

First of all, I didn't get the job.

I try not to show any emotions especially when it has something to do with what I want.
So I pretend like I don't care.
But I was gonna take the job if they offered.
But I think I can pretend like I don't care and ignore the pain of rejection.

I bought a lot of stuffs for the hangar this week.
I don't really think it's a good idea for me to start flying until I get a better job and make more money.

I feel like my mind is separate from my body.

I don't even wanna read about wind turbines.
I feel like I'll never gonna find a job.

What a waste of time.
School, work, things I do...
What a huge waste of time.
What the fuck have I been doing for the last 6 years...
I wanna go back in time and bitch slap myself.

Again

Interview was as usual.
Except that it wasn't the same company that recruiter told me about.
It has very little to do with airplanes.
They build motors that pump hydraulics in airplanes.

I don't want the job.
But it's better than the one I have now.

I think the recruiter didn't give me the job description because she just wanted to send another person in just so she can tell her boss that she tried.

On a second thought...
I'll take this job.
Because motors have something to do with wind turbines.
Maybe I'll learn about power generators and stuff while I'm there.
If I could get hold of the motor and stater, I could just design the blades...

Well, that's if I'll ever get this job though.

Potential

I have an interview set up for tomorrow.
It's for a somewhat well-known aerospace company.
It's about an hour and half from where I live.

Played soccer with Raul and some other people.
First time playing since last year.
I couldn't keep the ball on the ground

Things have been very busy around me recently.

I don't know what to say, but I'm hopeful, which is a rare thing.

Updrafts

Went to the hangar on Friday and cleaned up some stuffs.
Everytime I go to the hangar, I remember about the time I used to live there.
It was a rather interesting time of my life.

Went to the safety seminar on Saturday.
Heard some rather interesting stories.
Safety is not a phoney issue though.
But at the same time, I don't like to get involved with other people's decisions.

A member and a good friend, who is a retired theatre professor told me that he was worried all winter about me because I used to live out of the hangar.
I have never had someone say stuff like that to me as long as I can remember.

Went to the hangar after the safety meeting to do some maintenance stuffs.
From what I hear, the brake on L-13 doesn't fully engage unless the aircraft's weight and forward momentum is applied.
So it feels like it's not working when you have the thing jacked up and just trying to spin the wheel.
But the brake wire is still slack, and the adjuster don't seem to be doing anything.
I have an extensive list of things that I wanna do in the hangar.
Some of them have to wait till I find a job that pays more money though.

I'm starting to see hawks and seagulls soaring.
It's starting to get warmer.
I wish I had more money.

Very Very Very

This guy at work tried to get me fired.
Nothing happened though.
I guess I usually try to avoid confrontation.
I don't try to change what other people do.

I signed my supervisor's divorce paperwork as a witness.
I didn't read it though.
I hope it wasn't like the co-pay for his child support.

I've been reading a lot of articles from Wikipedia.
About famous people, nations, cultures, boundary layers...
It's very organized and easy to read.

Wind Data Analysis

I'm going to write an program to analyze the anemometer reading at the club.
That's what I'll do this year.
It should help me put something on my resume especially when looking for a job in the wind energy industry.
People will usually ask what I've been up to since I graduated.
It wouldn't help much to tell them that I lived out of a hangar for half a year or worked at a factory and copper plated circuit boards...
Gotta make it look like I was doing something.

My hands are burnt and cracked from the chemicals.
They look like a desert tautus.

I'm done looking for an engineering job for at least another month.
But I need a job that pays more.
I want to be a high-rise window cleaner.

Not As Planned

Took a day off and drove down to Champaign for my citizenship interview.
They told me that they didn't get my paperworks on time, and they rescheduled my interview for April 28th in Chicago.

I wanted to punch the guy and spit at the interviewers and burn the flag.
So much of my life is depended on some paperworks that nobody really gives a shit about.

I'll renew my green card and get a construction job.

Fuck the government, fuck school, fuck life.

Fuck this fucking shit.

Notice!

To all the people in the recreational aviation industry:

Give me a job.

I don't wanna get paid to make shit that kill people.

I've lived out of a hangar for half a year.

I don't have much experience to speak of.

I'm a glider pilot.
I have a degree in aerospace engineering.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely,

unemployed mongoose

Dog Shit Dog

Last week was pretty busy.
It's snowing like crazy.
I like it when the actual weather doesn't follow the forecast.
Feels like something is going wrong.

I didn't finish reading the wind characteristics book like I said I will last weekend.

Had calls from two recruiters about some jobs.
Required citizenship though.

I'm a bit relieved that I might actually find a job once I get my citizenship.
I'll eventually go into wind energy though.
It's fucking bad that I can't get a job in the field that I want.
And I'm considering making money off of wars.

I Hate Authority

A librarian, who is a huge asshead, came by and tried to kick out some kids from the lounge.
I think he hurt those kids' feelings by trying to be forceful.
He treated those kids differently cuz he thought he can bully his way through.
I hate adults.

No progress on the job search.

I'm losing weight again.