Faceful of Shame

I think I have this face that's full of shame and self-hatred. I'm sure it has something to do with the decisions that I took along the way because I don't think I was born this way.

I'm frustrated about not finding a job. I think I messed up on the phone interview that I had the other day. I think I gave the impression that I want to just push buttons and get solutions to an engineering problems. It's pretty much the opposite of my understanding of engineering, but I guess I somehow gave the impression that I'm just interested in learning the software and not the core engineering principles. It's kinda frustrating to be judged especially when the person draws different conclusions than what I intended to say. Too bad, cuz it could've worked out even though I would've had to move.

I haven't been studying much recently. I don't feel motivated. I keep reminding myself about the things that passed me by because I wasn't ready for it at the time. I want to be ready for the next one.